This is an ART announcement:
Aaron Kaplan is the new Prince of Fort Rochambeau Land. He has appointed himself as Duke of Post Control. He plans to do absolutely nothing with this position.
Thank you,
Prince of Fort Rochambeau Land, Duke of Post Control,
Aaron Kaplan
(P.S. This is totally fake)
This post never happened. I never told you the following:
I am agent 007.11111111562585469877785896589665886589586663031123456789987655432115151915815475584562584886498712364555000. I am a secret agent for the A.R.T. The A.R.T. Stands for Joseph’s Real Triumph. My name is Aaron. I am the founder of the A.R.T. There is a total of three agents. Their names are as follows: Aaron, Sam and Joseph.
I work to destroy silly posts. Soon I will use a new destruction technique, but that technique is on a need to know basis.
We use D.I.S. or Destruction of Irritating Silliness as our motto. On our great seal the Latin phrase, “Oohs Disuse” appears in golden letters.
We soon will launch an attack on many posts.
Moo ha ha and Goodbye,
Agent 7(etc…)
What I want to do in the next art starz class is to make another movie!
A GRINDHOUSE MOVIE to be exact! A double feature, two movies. One would be a action movie about a criminal mastermind named Mario, he steals from the rich… and gives to himself… WITH his girl friend Ann, (A girl who has a eye patch on her left eye.) The police want him dead… OR alive. I want to call this movie “CITY OF CRIME.” Which takes place in the city. I based this movie on a Mario Bava film called “Danger: Diabolik.”
The next movie is a horror film about four adults, (teens?) that drive in a car on top of a mountain. Their car runs out of gas, and there isn’t a gas station near by! They need to spend the night, until they get help in the morning. Luckily, there is a house next door. They ask the owner of the house if they could spend the night until the morning. During the night, each of the four friends DIE from a strange figure in a black hood and cape. This figure is the OWNER OF THE HOUSE! AND HE’S THE DEVIL!!!!!!!!!!! I call this movie “The Devil’s House of Blood.” I based this movie on all of Mario Bava’s horror films like: “Bay of Blood,” “Baron Blood,” “Lisa And The Devil,” and a little bit of “Black Sunday.”
The name of the theater that plays these two movies is called ART STARZ GRINDHOUSE.
So many languages with two words….
coming soon to DVD at your local DVD store… NOT RATED
Dear Readers,
Apparently in Flannery’s part of the movie, the Space movie, I am dead! This is an outrage!!!!!!!
Dear Readers,
This post is dedicated to my absolute favorite Television show, ‘The Office’ (THE AMERICAN KIND NOT THE BRITISH, LAMER, VERSION!!!!!!!).
The Office recently finished it’s fourth season (which was awesome).
These are the main characters of the Office:
Michael Gary Scott (Just Michael)- The head honcho, if you will, of the office branch. He tries to be funny but honestly is an idiot. Very politically incorrect.
Dwight Kurt Shrute III (Just Dwight)- Assistant to the Regional Manager, then Asistant Regional Manager, and finally just salesman. Hilariously stupid in normal things, and smart in odd things. Constantly being pranged by Jim. At first hates Jim, Then Andy and Jim, then just Andy, then Jim again. Total suck-up to Michael.
James Halpert (Just call him Jim) - Smart, kind, helpful, friendly, funny, impresses everyone he meets. Joker, but can be serious and professional if he wants to be. Disliked by Ryan and Dwight. Constantly pranks Dwight. Is now the Assistant Regional Manager. In love with Pam.
Pamela Beesly (Pam, if you will, but not Pammy)-Smart, sensitive, kind, friendly, artistic, taken advantage often. In love with Jim. Receptionist.
Ryan Bailey Howard- EVIL and in jail. Moo ha ha.
Janet Levinson (Just Jan)- was Michaels boss, then his girlfriend and boss, then his boss again, then his girlfriend and boss, then just his girlfriend, then his ex-girlfriend, now his girlfriend again. Smart, professional.
Holly- Human Resourses Representative.
Phyllis Vance- Saleswoman.
Stanley Hudson- Salesman.
Andrew Bernard- Salesman and regional director in charge of sales.
Dear Readers,
We in Art Starz are making a new movie called ‘Watching TV’. It will be really fun.
Here are some secrets about it (SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!). It is called watching TV for a reason; the premise is that two or three people are watching TV. What they are watching is actually skits created by ourselves. Each Art Starzian will have his or her own skit. For instance Joe’s will be the battle of Pocky Man V.S. Anti pocky monster. (No kidding). Flannery’s is a wonderful space adventure. Mine will be something to do with the following: The (American) Office, The Classroom, A feild trip, and a stupid teacher. You will force nothing more out of me!
We worked on flannery’s movie yesterday. We took 4 tables and made a ’space ship’. All poof the buttons and ‘equiptment’ were made out of green tape. On this space ship were such sophisticated machinery as a time machine, a tesseract portal, and a vending machine! The good thing was it was all run by Windows XP.
Cordially,
Aaron
ART STARZ GRINDHOUSE
. UNRATED
. UNCUT
. UNSEEN
*WARNING: The movie is unsuitable for young children ( And for old people who can’t stand violence. )
